Borders Closing, 40% off

I can't help but feel sad about the apparent implosion of Borders. Yesterday I got an email on my Blackberry with the subject line "Borders Closing, 40% off Clearance Sale." Oh great, thought I. Borders, long-vaunted in my mind as the place you go to buy books, was going under. Which staples of my capitalist childhood were about to follow suit?

A few minutes later I got another email stating that only one Borders store was closing, way up in Sacramento, and apologizing for the mistake. Somehow, the reassurance-minded disclaimer made the situation seem even more depressing, like a party guest who spends half the evening apologizing for being so awkward and you don't want to go over to the punch bowl anymore even though you're thirsty because J.D. is standing right there and not talking to ANYONE else.

While I was out caroling on battleships and Beverly Hills street corners, an endless barrage of emails arrived from Borders in my inbox this month, each subject line more desperate than the last: "30% Coupon, Plus Huge Holiday Savings"; "40% Off Item of Your Choice"; "Blowout Savings -- Up to 75% Off." To open one of these messages is to plunge headfirst into a lachrymatory of garish backgrounds and big-sale font, to be greeted by excessive DVD box sets no sentient person could ever want, and the plaintive Beanie stare of Chaucer the Bear (now $4.99 after discount!).

I met my technophobic mom for brunch today and afterwards we went for a drive to a nearby animal shelter. "I think Borders is in trouble," she told me, probably citing some Times article or another, "though to be honest, and this might sound kind of strange, I buy a lot of stuff on Amazon nowadays."